Tuesday, March 23, 2010

The next great, gay memoirist.

You know the names.  Truman Capote. Augusten Burroughs. David Rakoff.  Simon Doonan. And of course, David Sedaris.  Just a few of the great gay memoirists.  

Now, we're watching the newest gay-memoirist's life unfold. In 15 to 20 years we'll be reading his best seller. It's latest chapter was a moment on the premiere of Dancing with the Stars, Season 10.  I'm talking about Kate Gosselin, famous for her role as a mother of eight.  And with eight kids, the chances are pretty dang high there's a gay in the bunch. And with a gay in the bunch, who has a crazy childhood that's broadcast on a reality TV show called Jon and Kate Plus Eight, he's bound to write about it.

I can see the chapter now.  He sees his slightly-crazy mom in her beautiful, pink, rhinestone-clad princess dress, waltzing gracefully on national TV. And suddenly he knows what he wants.  He moves to New York, gets hooked on the hot, trendy new drug (a substance we haven't even herd of yet), tries drag (but only once), and falls in love with a Frenchman. It's hilarious!

With that in mind, I offer this advice to the Plus Eight.  Take notes. Write down your feelings. Work hard in your writing classes.  And above all, embrace the craziness that is your family. Then, about the time you're 20, find a job in publishing so your humorous voice can get the notice it deserves.

I promise, I'll be one of the first to buy your best-selling book.