Saturday, January 8, 2011

Introducing The Jeffies

All new for 2011 is the Art Lobster rating system.  Big thanks to co-worker Steve for not only the idea, but also the name; Jeffies.  Apologies to Steve (who's a designer) for my lack of illustration skills.  But I'm certainly willing to have a capable graphic artist finesse the Jeffies.

So what does this mean for fans of Art Lobster.  From now on, movies, books, and performances will be rated on a five Jeffy scale.  It was tough to decide whether to make it a four or a five unit scale.  I don't like the idea of an odd number scale because then you can wimp out with a three, and that doesn't really indicate whether it was above or below average.  But I also like the idea of an extremely rare, five point rating.  So I opted for an ultimate of five Jeffies.  Here's how you can interpret each of the five ratings:

Five Jeffies: This means, "Holy cow, that was some unbelievable stuff."  This is reserved for only the very best of the very best.  You won't see many of these flying around.

Four Jeffies:  If you missed reading, seeing, or experiencing anything that gets four Jeffies, you missed something funny, inspirational, or just plain mind blowing.  And if you still have a chance to experience a four-Jeffy anything, you should make the effort.

Three Jeffies: Although this is the mid point in the Jeffies rating system, it should still be considered above average.  Anything that gets three Jeffis is worth your time.  It might not be unforgettable but it will be entertaining and meaningful.

Two Jeffies: This is when things start to get sketchy. Maybe skip reading, seeing, or experiencing things that get a two-Jeffy rating.

One Jeffy: Oh no. Now things have really taken a turn for the worse. Things that only get one Jeffy were a waste of my time and would likely be a waste of yours.

One final point: There will be no half-a-Jeffy ratings.  For two reasons: First, cutting my head in half disturbs me.  And second, half ratings are for wimps.  And if you happen to receive a Jeffy rating, feel free to display it proudly on your web site, storefront, or advertising.  I'm sure it will fuel significant interest in whatever it is you offer.


  1. This idea: Five Jeffies!

    PS: You look so cute as a rating system.

  2. I didn't know so much smart and funny came out of Worland...or that the friendship bracelets I bought at Paris Jewelry for all those lost loves in middle school had such story potential. Well three cheers for life after!